Jabba the Hutt's Last Gasp
by asthmaticdarthvadar
Summary: LIKE OMG This story is so intense, so visceral. We're talking the greatest Jabba the HuttX Vader fanfiction that ever existed here! You will freak out, when you read it! OMG I love my snuggily, thugly Jabba the Hutt, and our reciprocated feelings about Vader's sexy choking abilities.


_Author's Note: OMG, I am assuring everyone here that I permit my Darth Prince in all my luscious fan-fictions to be an equal-opportunist choker. I'm dedicating this to all my new fans, and like, all those, like, people that are surreptitiously reading these fanfictions with undisguised pleasure. Jabba the Hutt may be "thugly" but he sure is snuggily, and you have to feel some sympathy for the poor guy. Everyone is like either extorting him and stuffs. But, he's sexy in the same way, like, gay men supposedly have preferences for, like, self-acclaimed "bears." _

The tinkling cantina music , repeating it's joyous cadence of "Do-Do-Do...dodododod… Dum.. Dum… Dum… Dum., made Jabba the hut wish that he could dance unabashedly without feeling like an oversized slug with accentuated, drooping lips. He was so happy that he employed the cantina musicians on commission because the music suffused his mind with the memories of his beloved darth prince. Lately, He had been dreaming of dancing a bit more freely, ever since his Darth Prince has wrote him a love letter a few weeks ago.

_Dear Beloved Jabba-_  
_ I'm so glad that you found incriminating evidence of Han Solo's misdeeds, thus further proving that the dark side is not altogether that "dark." I've been having doting thoughts on you a lot. I cannot wait to see your sluggish body wiggle it's way towards me, in an infantile gait, as I compellingly yell "Jabba the Hut, Jabba the Hut; Come here!"_  
_ Sincerely,_  
_ Your Darth Prince_

Jabba the Hut slobbered all over the note for nearly a week, so that the last part of the erotic missive was completely unreadable. Jabba's current girl/boyfriend was the miniaturized, bat-like creature, who was perched vigilantly on his shoulders, looking out for any duplicitous men like those thieving Han Solo sorts.

One beautiful day unveiled itself like a seemingly elusive eclipse, when the light poured into Jabba the Hut's dank palace. The blinding, prophetic light blinded Jabba's eyes,as a dark shape entered beyond the threshold. Jabba excitedly heard the rustle of the suit of armor seductively jingle, as his darth prince walked towards him with an impassioned expression. Jabba's mouth widened, as phlegm cascaded down his greenish slug body. Since the lower portion of Jabba's body resembled a serpentine tail, it wagged a little ecstatically as Vader came closer, and closer.

"Oh Vader, How your light shines, so resplendently, in my eyes, that have never ceased the grace such beauty." Jabba exclaimed.

Meanwhile, the bat-like creature howled maliciously, as it realized that Vader was encroaching on the figurative territory of its relationship with Jabba the Hut.

"Silence, you miscreant, bat-like thing, that looks like it was begot from the pairing of an Ewok and bantha _Ho-pen, Ho-pen_." The bat-like creature screeched pleasurably, enjoying the invisible grip of Vader's most seductive handling of his less intimate choke that was made possible by his firm handling of the force. This ability was the less intrusive, force-choke.

"EK-EK-EK-EK…" the bat-like creature's screeches came to a sudden cessation, once Jabba began howling with a guttural laugh. "HA-HA-HA-HA."

As Jabba's earth-trembling laugh continued to cause tremors amongst the sanded terrain of his palace's interior, Lord Vader seemed to glide towards Jabba the Hut's colossal form until Vader sat upon Jabba the Hutt's voluptuous back. Since Vader's hands were inferiorly smaller, he massaged his black, leather-gloved hand along Jabba the Hutt's greenish-yellow, calloused skin. Jabba the Hutt moaned loudly, as though the bowels of the Earth were rumbling in coordination with his moans.

Suddenly, Jabba felt the gratifying tightening of his windpipes,. Darth Vader supplied neither any witticisms or imprecations for the poor sod, Jabba the Hutt. For Darth Vader never was really into Jabba the Hutt, and everyone in the galaxy understood the reason for the dearth of any sort of romance in Jabba the Hutt's lonesome existence.

"OHHHH VADER, OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH." The whole palace underwent severe gyrations, as it mournfully rocked with the motion of Jabba the Hutt's imaginary dance moves that he had been wistfully dreaming of using with Vader. Although, Vader seemed to have decided to express his love definitively for Jabba the Hutt by offering something more intimate than a passionate kiss.

Suddenly, Jabba the Hutt's palace disintegrated into sand, as Jabba the Hutt orgmasmically groaned an electrifying death groan that seemed to offer a lamentation for the downfall of the great, voluminous slug king.

Darth Vader soon left the premises and offered other people his most gratuitous display of erotic passion that nearly all the dwellers of the festive cantina had dreamed about. Some of the survivors of the great downfall sometimes say that they can still hear the ghostly, detached cadence of the cantina that Jabba the Hutt felt expressed the stabbing feelings of lovelorn he felt, until Vader preciously choked him with his loving death grasp.

_Oh my god, wasn't this just beautiful? Should I write more? Who survived the collapse of such a large palace? LIKE O...My.. GOD... I am freaking out!_


End file.
